That time I opened an irate client email at the museum😞🖼️

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Are you good with setting boundaries, freelance friend?

It is a constant struggle for me. Back in my office days, I remember salivating at a former co-worker’s enthusiasm for the urban cidery she was getting ready to open. “I open work emails at night because I’m excited to!” she told me, speaking of bottle label designs and other entrepreneurial tasks that were mesmerizing to a 20-something stuck in a cubicle.

That memory stayed with me as I began my freelancing business. I checked emails morning, noon, and night because you just never knew when a client or prospect would reach out with a new project!

But as you know, clients send emails for a variety of reasons…including feedback.

And on one occasion, I completely deflated myself by logging into my email while spending an afternoon at the local art museum with my kiddos.

Trouble at the museum

On the day I realized I needed better work/life boundaries, my kids were in a museum play area, experimenting with senses and artwork. It was a Friday afternoon. I sat down on a nearby bench and casually logged into my email account.

I saw a message from a new client, a lawyer who had paused her corporate career while on maternity leave and wanted landing pages to help launch her own firm.

The message was so vitriolic and accusatory, I was literally shaking as I read her words. My first instinct was to blame myself. How could I have been so far off with her needs?

Then I realized that this was the type of situation where the problem was her, not me. She clearly hadn’t opened the latest draft and something was clearly going on in her life to have such a dramatic flip from our friendly calls to an intensely worded email.

I realized this after some detective work, but in the meantime, I completely ruined the afternoon with my kids. I went into emergency “fix-it” mode instead of just relaxing. That client definitely didn’t need my attention on a Friday afternoon and I was the one who emotionally paid the toll.

How we can all set boundaries as freelance writers

I’m still not perfect about setting times to check my email (because the thrill of a new project or client praise is still there!). BUT, I’m really trying to make more of an effort. My kids are getting older, so I’m trying to set the phone aside more frequently - so I can stay present, set a good example, and NOT get emotionally distracted when we’re hanging out.

Here are a few ideas we can experiment with to set those client and email boundaries:

• Schedule times to check your email: It can be several times a day! But sticking to a routine keeps you focused on other areas of your life, whether it’s family time or writing time.

• Only check emails when you’re ready to deal with issues: Opening your work email is a crap shoot. You may have edits, new assignments, admin requests, etc. I find if I randomly check my email during non-work times (like early in the morning or late at night), I’m more likely to let things fall through the cracks.

• Delete Gmail from your phone: OMG I HAVE NOT DONE THIS! But should I do this??? Do you even have email on your phone? I would love to hear your thoughts. I’m contemplating a social media detox (particularly through election season) and I wonder if email on the phone should be part of it.

What other tips do you have for setting boundaries??

I’d love to know! 🤩

Happy freelancing,

Lauren